Why me? Thats a question I ask my self here and there, but I never find an answer. Obviously, your opinion (and mine) on this will be based upon your religious views and what not, but from an atheist’s prospective, why me? Well, the logical answer would be that I had a bad birth (and I use ‘bad’ very lightly) and, yes, you would be right. But I mean it in a philosophical sense. What did I do wrong? Was I the cause of Judgment day in a past life? Who knows. But I’m happy the way I am, because for 13 years (and counting) I have been carrying these two disabilities on my back and I’ve gotten use to it after a while. It isn’t pleasant, it’ll never be pleasant, but I can cope with it.
Everyday, I get a constant reminder that I have Cerebral Palsy and Dystonia. For example, 5 minutes ago I poured myself some orange juice, a regular thing to do, and then my hand started to shake as I had been holding the bottle of juice for too long and I spilt some on the kitchen counter. Then slowly and carefully, I walked back to the table I’m sitting at now with precision so that I didn’t suddenly shake and spill the juice or worse, smash the cup. Simple things like that. I have the cup of orange juice next to me now and I’m struggling to lift it up to my face to drink from it. But, I wouldn’t change it for the world. My Mother always says ‘If I could I would switch places with you in a heartbeat’, which is extremely kind and selfless but, I wouldn’t want that. 1. For her sake, and 2. I’m used to it.
Last Monday, I was taken to A&E because I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I was having a spasm in my Diaphragm, I was told to take this drug 3 times a day. Then my condition worsened and my parents called the RVI (Newcastle’s Hospital) and they said up the dosage. Yesterday I couldn’t take anymore and was yet again, taken to A&E. And their only answer was ‘MORE DRUGS!’. The drugs aren’t working, YET! I haven’t lost hope, yet. But I just feel tired, in pain and worried,